Category: My Mind

Just Smile, It Helps

“Just smile, it helps.”

Kata-kata di atas ini aku dapet dari Adhel in a 15 mins escape journey on last Friday. Jadi minggu lalu emang lagi cerita suatu masalah gitu dan kata-kata dia yang paling nempel ya itu. Maybe he doesn’t even remember but it was just like a knife stab in my heart. Seorang Mirza Arfina, yang ngaku lulusan psikologi, tenggelam di masalah sendiri dan bahkan ngga inget cara paling sederhana untuk ngangkat mood diri sendiri.

“Kalo lo ga bisa nolong diri sendiri, gimana lo mau nolong orang lain?”

Itu tambahan kata-kata jleb dari temen lain, Ica, buat aku. Actually she didn’t mention it to me tapi kok kesannya pas banget ya.

Bukan berarti (calon) psikolog ga boleh punya masalah. Semua orang di dunia dan akhirat pasti punya masalah. Mau yang sekecil kutunya kutu atau bahkan sampe segede bapaknya dinosaurus. Tapi semua dibalikin ke diri sendiri, masalah itu mau di-keep atau diselesaiin. Buat orang-orang yang ada di luar kendali buat nyelesaiin masalahnya sendiri, bener tuh kata Adhel. Senyum aja. It does. It helps us in many things. So what smile can do? Here I’ll share to you, fellas. Semoga bisa ngebantu juga ya 🙂

***

Making yourself attractive– Not only slim figure but smile also can make you    attractive. People were drawn to the person who is smiling. All want to know more about the smiling personality. This is a natural process. Thus smile helps you to become ttractive.

Help to change the mood– “I am very upset on the day when I lose my favorite job.     I through pots on floor and mess up all set    up of living room” Larry told the story. “I get violate so much for the first time of my life. Suddenly my homes door bell ring. I open up door with disturbs mood my girl friend was on the door.    She doesn’t have any idea what had happen? When I saw her face which was having very nice smile on. I feel so relax and little bit happy. She took me in her warmth arm and I suddenly change. I    know her smile made the  miracle’.   In Larry’s case her    girl friend’s smile help to change the mood. It is true that smile can change the mood. Smile can change others mood but the person who is smiling will also feel relaxes after having good smile    on face.  Next time when you will feel down try to put smile and feel the change in your mood.

Help to lighten the room– Smile is contagious. Your smile as can change the mood also can lighten up the room where you    are smiling. Your smile unknowingly make atmosphere happy. Smile person bring happiness with them. Smile lot and you will draw people to you.

Relieves stress– Now a day life is full of stress whether it is family life or    professional life. Stress can shows on our faces. Smile helps us to prevent from looking tired or overwhelmed. When you are stressed take time to put a cute smile on your face. Stress will be    reduced and you will feel better to take action.

Boost your immune system- Smile helps your immune system work well. When you smile    your immune system improve as you are more relaxed. Prevent flu and cold by smiling. Fight with the dieses by smiling great.

Lower blood pressure- It is medically prove that smile lowers the blood pressure. It    is measurable reduction in your blood pressure when you smile. If you have blood pressure monitor at home you can check out.

Makes you look younger – Many women will be happy to read this. Yes it is true    that smiles help you to look younger. For smiling we use    the mussel which lifts our face and help us to look younger. Don’t go only for face lift. Try smiling in a day and see difference, you will look younger and feel better.

Help to become successful- Yes smiling people has better chance to get successful in    life. Smiling people are more confident which is important for any kind of success. Smiling at meeting and appointments where people react to you differently because of    smile.

Makes you positive-Smile is the sign of positivity. When we are smiling our body    sends the message that “life is good”. Let run away depression stress and worry from your life. It only can happen by smiling.

To connect with people- Smile helps to    get connected with people. Because of smiley face people were get attract to the person and they try to get in touch with the smiley person.  Smiley    face spread happiness and positive attitude which no one dislikes.

Powerful tool of flirting– Smile is the powerful tool of flirting for a women.  Giving just a cute smile, women can easily attract the men whom she wants.

I got those words from this page.

***

When you smile, you actually don’t only boost your mood but also makes people around you happy too. So just smile, it helps! 🙂

 

Cheers,

Itu Jari Tangan? Serius?

Pernah ngga sih dapet komentar fisik yang ngga enak dan bikin mikir negatif sama diri sendiri? Kayak misalnya gendut, kurus, pesek, pendek, buntet dll. Dari kecil, aku udah kenyang banget sama komen gendut dari orang sekitar. Lama-lama komen itu pelan-pelan berubah dari “gendut” ke “jari buntet”. Not that I’m not fat anymore, but the focus is just slowly change because I have new hobby.

I love to play piano and sometimes I wanna share what I love to my social media. Tapi kadang ketika udah di-share, dapet komennya bukan tentang lagu yang dimainin but again those fingers. Kalau dibandingin sama orang lain, emang ukuran jari ini pendek dan gendut gitu jadi emang banyak mengundang orang untuk komen. Tapi emang harus banget ya komen dengan kata-kata yang ngga disaring dulu?

Ngga cuma waktu main piano, aku juga suka gambar-gambar dan kadang kalau orang ngeliatin proses gambarnya dan ngeliat tangan yang lagi gambar, suka jadi muncul komen tentang jari lagi, jari lagi. Rasanya tuh kayak murid sekolah udah belajar mati-matian demi lulus sekolah, tapi pas lulus ada yang nyeletuk “wah hebat ya dia bisa lulus, padahal kan dia gendut”.

Ngga sedikit loh orang yang kenal cuma selewat sama kita terus dengan entengnya berkomentar tentang fisik yang menurut mereka minus. Maksudnya gini, hei apa kontribusi lo dalam hidup gue sampe akhirnya lo ngerasa punya hak buat nge-judge fisik gue? *maaf emosi*

***

Sejauh yang aku inget, satu-satunya orang yang sering “ketemu” sama jari-jari ini dan ngga pernah bahas masalah perbedaan jariku sama jari orang lain adalah guru pianoku. Dia yang tiap minggu ngeliatin aku main piano dan ya udah fokusnya cuma ngajarin main piano yang bener. Aku sendiri bahkan pernah mikir kok dia ngga berespon negatif ya? Atau mungkin sebenernya udah mikir “nih jari buntet-buntet amat sih” tapi ya responnya ngga diomongin. Saking penasarannya aku pernah mancing guru pianoku itu dengan ngomong “Aku ngga bisa mainin lagu cepet gini, jariku kan buntet jempol semua”. Tapi responnya cuma bilang kalau ngga masalah bentuk jari kayak gimana pun yang jelas kalau rajin latihan semua orang pasti bisa.

WHAT?

Well, di saat aku sering banget dapet respon ngga enak dari lingkungan (tentang jariku), pas ada yang komentar positif justru jadi hal yang aneh. Jujur aja judgement yang didapet dari dulu udah ngebuat aku ngegeneralisasi dan mikir oke, semua orang pasti mikir jariku jelek, semua orang pasti ngetawain aku. Dan bahkan itu juga ngebuat selalu mikir jelek tentang diri sendiri.

Aku sendiri udah kenyang dikatain gendut dari kecil. Tapi ketika komen gendut (badan) berubah jadi komen jari yang buntet, itu jauh jauh jauh lebih ngga enak. Karena kalau dikatain gendut, aku bisa usaha biar badan lebih kurus. Tapi kalau dapet komen tentang jariku yang menurut mereka ngga lazim, itu tuh kayak ngetawain takdir orang. Mungkin kesannya kok sensitif banget dibilang jarinya buntet langsung ngga suka. But believe me, I’ve heard those bad comments for, like, my entire life.

Mija jarinya buntet yah.

Ya ampun jari kok jempol semua.

Itu jari apa ubi cilembu?

Nanti kalo nikah pasti suami kamu susah masukin cincinnya. Mampet.

Jari tangan? Oops sorry, kirain jari kaki.

Udah orangnya pendek, jarinya pendek juga.

Ngejadiin fisik orang sebagai bahan candaan itu ngga lucu, seriously. Dan apa sih untungnya buat mereka? Mereka mungkin bisa lupa dalam beberapa menit aja, tapi orang yang dikasih komen gitu bisa ingat seumur hidupnya. Komentar-komentar itu yang bikin aku tumbuh sebagai orang ngga pede, selalu mikir negatif ke fisik sendiri, dan selalu ngebanding-bandingin diri sendiri sama orang lain. Kadang jadi takut ngelakuin apa yang aku suka karena takut denger komentar dari sekitar. Di satu titik terendah, aku pernah mikir kenapa ya aku lahir dari keluarga yang secara fisik kayak gini. Kenapa aku ngga kayak si A yang dari lahir udah cantik, kenapa ngga kayak si B yang badannya proporsional effortlessly atau pemikiran negatif lain.

But now I realize, comparing yourself to others’ is just as bad as them. I mean, I’ve been through that situation that make me feel bad all the times. Saying that myself is bad (physically) is just like being ungrateful to God’s creation. Each of us is unique, we don’t need to compare what God has given to us. What I’m gonna say now is thank God I’m still here, alive, happy and healthy.

***

Additional writing (2017): post di atas ini ditulis di 2012 dan aku tambahin di Agustus 2017. Sampai sekarang, aku masih sering dapat komentar tentang fisik, terutama masalah jari dari orang-orang dekat atau bahkan orang yang baru kenal. Tapi alhamdulillah sekarang aku udah bisa mikir bodo amat, this is my body, this is my life. Aku bersyukur banget sekarang bisa berpikiran jauh lebih positif. Ya walaupun masih berpendapat sampai sekarang kalau komentar fisik itu ngga lucu sama sekali, paling ngga aku udah bisa coping dengan baik.

For those people who mocked at my fingers, here I tell you. Jari-jari ini udah ngebawa aku jadi juara di kompetisi piano tingkat provinsi, jari-jari ini udah ngebuat aku bangga karena bisa bikin desain gambar yang published internationally, dan jari-jari ini udah ngebantu bikin senang orang lain dengan ngelakuin hal yang aku bisa untuk mereka. So what your normal-shape fingers can do?

 

Cheers,

Enjoying Life Rules – Me Version

Every word I write below is just my opinion, so you may agree or not. Up to you and happy reading, here we go.

What we need exactly to happily live our life? There’s no exact theory for that. People have different life. One thing I know, life is simple. Eat when you hungry and just eat. Too many comments or complaints, you couldn’t taste the joyful of life. Smoke if you wanna die at your young age, don’t smoke near the people who cover their nose with their hand while you do that. Sleep when you feel sleepy and just sleep. You don’t need to tweet on your twitter “Oh I’m sleepy”, universe just don’t care. If you need to sleep so sleep, don’t tweet. Do what you wanna do, ignore what people say without ignoring their rights. Be free but still respect others (oh I just ignore others’ tweeting right, sorry).

I said life is simple, but don’t just be too simple. You won’t be seen by others (in this case it’s just a problem if you want others to see you). So what else? Be unique. Don’t say “I’m not creative, I don’t know how to be unique”. Being different is unique. People like something different, so do you, don’t you? Close your eyes, free your imagination. Fly with it and make it real – don’t let it just stay in your mind. The next step is acceptance of others. Because of it’s your imagination, which is not objective, maybe sometimes people don’t like what you do. Being unique doesn’t mean being liked by others, it means being seen by others. Use every chance you have to make it real. YOLO guys, you only live once so don’t waste it.

Make a wish, take a chance, make a chance, and breakaway!

Thanks for reading this random post, this is just me being sarcastic – and trying to enjoy mine. Hope you guys enjoy your life, with mine or maybe your own way.

 

Cheers,

Tell Her To Make Her Better

Idk, but I think telling private things on your social media like fb or twitter account is just immature. Sorry to say but that’s what on my mind. And last night I read on my acquaintance’s twitter timeline (I know her less than a week), we don’t follow each other but I knew her account from the other friend.

So the point is her timeline (let’s just call her Ms. A) telling us that she really hate another woman (this one is Ms. B) because of many things. Ms. A tell her followers that Ms. B is not perfect, has no initiative to do important things, not open minded, not welcome to critics, and she tweeted that with no mention of course. Me, if I put myself on followers’ shoes, will be really hate Ms. B too. Come on, from those bad description of Ms. B, who will like her?

But behind all of those things, I feel sad too. Really. It’s because I’m Ms. B. I’m the woman that she hates. And what make me more sad is some of things that she said is not true. Yes in some cases I do admit that I’m bla bla bla bla, but I did that because I have reason. It seems that you’ve already covered your ears and you didn’t listen to me and in the end you tell your friends bad things about me.

Still talk about her twitter, she said on her timeline that I need to be taught on many things but she write it on her twitter instead of telling me her thought. Come on, do you really wanna teach me or you just want to tell the world that I’m that bad? If you really hate me, if you think that you need to teach me, SAY IT DIRECTLY TO ME NOT TO YOUR FOLLOWERS. Other thing made me being so madly sad is people who responded her, seems that they really hate Ms. B as much as Ms. A do.

Well here I am writing this blogpost sadly. Maybe Ms. A doesn’t know that I read her tweets on twitter but it happened, I read those, and the feeling is just like I’m stabbed in the back. Then all I wanna say here is when you hate someone, tell her, not the world. If you tell her, you help her to be better. If you tell the world, you vilify the person you hate and your own name, absolutely. This post is written by me, the woman who being hated. With this post then you know my October didn’t start well. But I hope this is the only bad thing I have in this month, aamiin.

 

Cheers,