It wasn’t a sudden decision. The plan had been there for a long time, quietly waiting, while I kept postponing it. That camera used to be my main tool back when I worked as a food blogger, when I captured my friends, small moments, and ordinary days that felt important at the time. It holds a lot of memories.
It’s an old Nikon. Its condition isn’t great anymore. The viewfinder is broken. The lens has fungus. The battery door clip barely works. Autofocus comes and goes as it pleases.
For the past two years, my phone has been more than enough. Not because it’s better, but because it’s practical. Easier to carry, easier to trust. Especially when traveling far, going abroad, or hiking or other situations where bringing a real camera feels more like a burden than a joy.
And now, I’m packing my life back into boxes, preparing to return to my hometown for a while. Suddenly, I realized I no longer had a strong reason to keep it. So I started looking it up online about how much it was worth and where to sell it. Then I found a store and sold it.
I didn’t expect to feel this emotional. But I did. Relieved, because I finally let go. Sad, because of everything it represented.
It felt like saying goodbye to an old friend.
On my way home, the sadness lingered. I passed a flower shop. I looked at the river. I felt heavy, but also strangely light. Like something had been released. This feels like one of the first real steps in a new chapter of my journey, though I’m not entirely sure where it leads yet. I still have a few more things to sell before leaving this city. One by one, slowly.
Mixed feelings, that’s the best way to describe today. But in the end, Nasi Padang to the rescue. As it always does. :).
Goodbye, old Nikon. Thank you for holding my memories so well.
November has been super exhausting physically, mentally, and financially. Yet somehow, here we are at the end of the month, staring at the last chapter of 2024. Time moves fast, eh?
This month felt like a spending spree. I went to so many places trying new food spots, attending events, exploring. It was fun, but let’s just say my wallet has seen better days. On the bright side, some extra work came in (finally!) toward the end of November, so maybe it balances out?
November was also about trying new things. Not just fun stuff, but also stepping into situations that made me reflect and grow. I’ve learned to be more firm, clear about what I want, and what I don’t. The funny thing is, though, some things stay the same. I still like and dislike the same stuff. Consistency is comforting, I guess.
If I had to sum it up, I’d say I’m grateful. For the chaos, the calm, and everything in between.
Now, 2024 has only one month left. Bismillah, may all my plans run more smoothly, and may happiness find its way to me. I know, wanting to be happy sounds cliché. Emotions are just part of life. But hey, as a human, I’m allowed to hope that things can work out in my own way, right?
Last Sunday I left Bogor in the morning to meet up with Nguyễn and Thái, two friends from Việt Nam, at a Aneka 57 Café in Jakarta. They were visiting Indonesia and somehow, I ended up being their guide for the day. Honestly, I was a little nervous and I mean, I’m the local, so they were counting on me (and let’s just say I’m not good with directions). Also it’s been a while since I explore Jakarta.
We started our day at Masjid Istiqlal, the biggest mosque in Southeast Asia. Fun fact: we’re required to wear modest clothing there. So, if you’re wearing something short or (for women) not wearing a headscarf, the guide will lend you a robe to cover up. Anyway, we got lucky because the guide also took us around and shared some really cool stories about the mosque’s history. Definitely one of the highlights of the day!
By the time we were done, we were soooooo starving. We stopped at Aming Coffee Juanda, a cozy Indonesian café in Little India. The food was so yums, flavorful, simple, just what we needed after walking around. And the coffee’s really something!
Next stop: Kota Tua Jakarta. We took the KRL (commuter line) to get there. Hehe, I brought my Vietnamese friends on the KRL. At Kota Tua we just wandered around and soaked up the old-town vibes. The area is full of history, and walking through it felt like stepping back in time. It’s one of those places that’s perfect for a laid-back afternoon.
Finally, we hopped on the TransJakarta bus together before saying goodbye. After that, I headed back to Bogor, feeling happy with how the day turned out. It was fun exploring the city with them—they’re such great company. Now I just need to figure out where my next adventure will take me!
Last week I heard that my friend/ex colleague from my previous workplace passed away because of her sickness. We were not that close but I feel sad hearing that news. One of her colleague, whom also a friend of mine uploaded an Instagram story update and showed her office room. My late friend had a beautiful dream catcher hanging on a corkboard behind her table at her working corner.
I was frozen for a moment. My memory flies back to 2019.
Five years ago me and her working together under the same institution but I was placed at Bali/Flores, meanwhile she worked at Lembang. One day in 2019 when I came visit Lembang I gave her, my late-friend, a dream catcher I bought at Bali as souvenir. I’m not that kind of friend who likes giving gift to others but at that time I feel I need to buy the dream catcher and give it to her. It was a cheap gift and knowing her background who came from a well-off family I keep asking myself “Do I really need to give it to her?”. I gave it to her anyway and I clearly remember she was so happy receiving that. She smiled and even laugh and said “Thank you so much Mirza!”. My heart’s getting warm.
After my resignation in 2021, I almost never talk to her. Up until yesterday, I didn’t know that she still keep the dream catcher I gave her back then. It’s almost five years since I gave her the dream catcher. Turns out it means a lot to her.
Right after I graduated on August 2018, I wrote a list about what kind of job that I want. Here’s some of them:
Non Government Organization (NGO), foundation or hospital
Not in Jakarta or Bandung
In remote area but under a well-known foundation
No more formal suit
Those are specific things, I know. But I remember that we should put specific details in our prayer and wish-list so yeah that’s why 😛 Long story short, I accepted the offer from SOS Children’s Village Indonesia to be a psychologist at Eastern area. It is at Bali and Flores. SOS Children’s Village is the world’s largest NGO focused on supporting children without parental care and families at risk. Thank God all criteria on the list are checked!
Some of my friends made farewell party for me days before I leave Bandung. I told them “Gosh, we will be just an hour apart. Farewell party thingy is really not necessary.” (ps: I regret saying that) They even made a surprise appearance at the airport, yeah they took me to the check-in gate. Now I miss them a lot.
Let’s get back to the SOS. First place to go is SOS Bali that located at Tabanan. Just like what I want, it’s literally at remote area. Actually it’s just around twenty minutes apart to city if I go by car or motorbike. But I have no vehicle here and not any of online taxis reach this place so for me the city is really far away.
About my work, it’s really different if I compare it to my first job back in 2014. I was once a recruiter at Indonesia Stock Exchange (or well known as Bursa Efek Indonesia in Jakarta). I did well there but I think big company doesn’t suit me. Here in Bali, I work with just shirt, jeans and sandal. My first day started with an educator-meeting in the morning. But the meeting was postponed because all men were asked to help to cut down a super big tree near to the office. What? Can you imagine that? It’s something that impossible happen at my first work place. I was just said “Oh okay” when they asked me to wait for the meeting to started. But I told myself “OMG this is what I want, no formal suit, no high building, with flexible office hour and yeah I’m surrounded by nature.” They, the men, were busy cutting down the tree and I was busy saying alhamdulillah this is my dream job. Wait, am I weird? Lol.
Here’s a sneak peek to my meeting table then and now 🙂
20142019
No more Jakarta, no more formal suit, no more fancy thing. I’m happy!
Two months here and I’ve learned lots of new things: culture, language, song (yes I learn Balinese songs!) and others. I’m the only Muslim here but I don’t find it as an obstacle to socialize. One more thing I realize in this two months: I think my standard of happiness is already changed. I get happy easily. When I find kids getting better than before, I’m happy. When toddlers running to me and calling “Kak Mirza! Kak Mirza!”, I’m happy. Last week I conducted a session of music therapy for a girl who difficult to express herself. At the session I saw her smile and sing for the first time. I was so happy! There are so much other simple things that make me happy here, oh kids are really good mood booster!
Look how cute they are!
On the other side, I get tired easily too. With so much activities here and I live in the village, at the same area with them, it’s like I work 24/7. Sometimes when I try to meet my bed someone knock on my door saying she/he wanna talk to me about this or that problem. That happened quite often and I need to find a way to make a good quality time with myself. But if you ask me if I’m happy to be here, yes I am! Every dream job has consequences, right?
Been two months here in Bali and now I have to leave and go to Flores. My flight to Maumere is scheduled on tomorrow morning. Guess there will be another adventure waiting for me. Can’t wait!
Oh it’s been a very very very long time since my last post and here I wanna tell you. I’ve graduated and I’m a clinical psychologist now!
On my grad day (photo captured by my friend Anjar)
I really love music so then I wrote a thesis about music therapy. Believe me, combining psychology, biology, and music is really something but thank God I enjoyed it a lot (and finally graduated). Ah, so let’s talk about music.
***
I’ve been a fan of Bandung Philharmonic, a pro orchestra from Bandung for about a year (or more I think). Right after I graduated on last September I got a chance to see their first symphony concert in this season at Hilton Bandung. Thank to Josh for this.
Bagus, me, and Josh
Tuesday, November 27th: Right two weeks ago, Bandung Philharmonic collaborated with Hilton Bandung to held an event called “If Music Be The Food of Love, Play On”. I came to this one too! (oh it’s so catchy I’m gonna use it as my post title)
So in this event, Hilton Bandung’s executive chef, Chef Tony Saputra collaborated with three musicians from Bandung Philharmonic to give a special and different experience for their audience. Chef Tony make food that inspired by classical songs they play. The three musicians are Cooper Wright on oboe, Bob Stoel on horn and Hazim Suhadi on piano.
Hazim, Bob, and CooperThey play their instrument and Chef Tony make food inspired by the songs playedPak Kevin, Hilton Bandung’s GM give his speech
And here’s the food. Too bad Chef Tony didn’t come so I couldn’t ask a lot about the ingredients, inspiration, and bla bla bla. But I think it’s ok as long as the food come lol 😛
Amuse boucheSoft shell crabButternut squashPotato and leek creamFillet steakCaramelOrange juice
I came to Hilton Bandung several times to taste their food and as expected, Chef Tony’s masterpieces are always amazing. The outstanding one for me was the appetizer: Soft Shell Crab. Oh I still can feel it on my tongue! Not to say that the others are dissappointed, but I always have “my best list” for every set-menu I tasted and for that night the winner is Soft Shell Crab!
Hi there Amanda!Ko Charles and Josh (again)! It’s so exciting to see familiar face here (photo captured by Amanda)
The best song at that night (for me) was D.E.T.I.K by Indonesian Composer, Nathan Iskandar. I love Bengawan Solo by Gesang too! Indonesian classical songs are already beautiful right? And the trio made this more and more beautiful.
With the composer, Nathan Iskandar
Sunday, December 2nd: Five days after that night, Hilton Bandung and Bandung Philharmonic collaborated (again) for a concert titled Holiday Concert. This time, thank to Hilton Bandung, I could come to their press conference (as part of media team :P) to know more everything about the concert will be held.
Robert Nordling (music director) and Joel Navarro (chorus master)Robert, Joel, and the soloistsL-R: Pak Kevin (Hilton Bandung), Rama Widi, Ferry Chandra, Christopher Abimanyu, Robert Nordling, Regina Handoko, Heny Janawati, Joel Navarro, Airin Efferin, Winda (Hilton Bandung)
Sunday came and I was ready.
The crowdThank you Hilton Bandung for letting me step into the ballroom before audience (photo captured by Bagus)Michael Hall (music director) and Airin Efferin (CEO Bandung Philharmonic)
The concert began with Overture in D, a song composed by another Indonesian talented composer, Filipus Wisnumurti Pranoto. By the way I came to another concert weeks before (it’s Acacia Youth String Orchestra Bandung) and his other work also performed there. Guess what. He, the composer, is 8 years younger than me. Oh my, so young and talented. After that a beautiful piece of Concerto No. 5 (Jan Krtitel Krumpholtz) performed with Rama Widi as a soloist. He is Indonesian finest harpist who has performed with various orchestras around the world.
The soloists: Ferry Chandra, Heny Janawati, Christoper Abimanyu, Regina HandokoFauzie Wiriadisastra & Robert NordlingThe excited hands. Enjoy, record, share.Regina Handoko, singing her part
At the session two Bandung Philharmonic introduce their choir group and the soloists. There are Regina Handoko (soprano), Heny Janawati (alto), Christopher Abimanyu (tenor) and Ferry Chandra (bass). They sang four Christmas masterpieces: Messiah (Georg Friedrich Handel), Winter Wonderland (Felix Bernard), Dreaming of a White Christmas (Irving Berlin), and Sleigh Ride (Leroy Anderson). The audience are allowed to record the last three songs and upload it on social media. For you who don’t know: you are not allowed to record performances in almost all classical concerts so I can say that it was a super-rare opportunity.
Bob Stoel who played horn at the previous concert was a part of this concert too.
What a happy night! I came to Hilton Bandung often to stay, to taste their food, to see their art exhibition, and I start to like to come for this music thingy. Keep having good events, Hilton Bandung, so I’ll keep coming to you 😛
***
At the same time same day, Soomin, my friend from Korea also watched an orchestra concert. It’s HPO Hyundae Philharmonic Orchestra. What a coincident!
HPO Hyundae Philharmonic Orchestra (photo cr: Soomin)Another happy hand (photo cr: Soomin)Soomin with her sister (whom a viola player), her sister’s soon to be husband (yeah they’ll get married in this weekend!) and her mother (photo cr: Soomin)
It’s always exciting when you have friend with same hobbies. Both of us love drawing and music too! And next week I will see her and have a year-end trip together. Think it will be fun, can’t wait!
In October 2015 I participated to a music therapy workshop held by my campus. The speaker is Dr. Katrina McFerran, a board certified music therapist from University of Melbourne, Australia. After the workshop, I made a digital sketch of all of workshop participants and uploaded it on Facebook.
I think it’s been a quite long time after the sketch I made, but yesterday I got a message from Katrina and she asked me if I interested to contribute to her newest project in MOOC (Massive Open Online Course) at coursera.org. My contribution is to draw a picture for the logo. She said that she like my style of drawing so much, so she asked me to make another one for her (and her team)’s project.
Oh my, of course I’m interested, Kat! So now I’m on my way to (start and) finish the design. Soooo excited about this project and can’t wait to see what I can do for this.
On Instagram, there’s been a lot of photos or memes lately talking about the difference between Korean dramas and real life. In Korean dramas, when two people bump into each other, they end up getting to know each other, dating, and living happily ever after. But in real life, when people bump into each other, it usually ends in a fight. Makes sense, right?
Then my wild thought started: “What if it’s not people bumping into each other, but cars? How would it end? Getting acquainted or fighting?”
***
Be careful with your mind. Less than 12 hours after I had that thought, I experienced a pretty serious accident myself. This morning, I was driving my mom from Bandung to Jakarta. Near the Cikarang toll gate, I was on the far right lane. The car in front of me suddenly braked hard and I crashed into it. Seconds later, the car behind me crashed into my car, just like bumper cars.
The sound of sudden braking and the loud crash all happened so fast. I was honestly scared to even look at the situation. Ya Allah. But alhamdulillah, my mom and I were completely fine and no physical injuries at all. What shocked me, though, was that the airbag didn’t deploy at all. Not even a bit 🙁
After getting out to handle the situation, I started taking photos of the scene for the police report.
This was the Cipaganti travel car that I hit. The rear didn’t look too bad, but I have no idea about the engine.
Then my car. Pretty badly damaged because the car behind hit me. The rear door couldn’t be opened, the exhaust was bent, the bumper came loose. When the car runs, it sounds like a modified exhaust. Super loud, like it’s about to fall off.
And this was the car behind me, the worst condition of all. It couldn’t even move and had to be towed.
My mom has a friend in the police force, let’s just call him Uncle S. When we called him, he was on his way from Bandung to Jakarta (what a perfect timing!), and about 10 minutes later, he arrived at the scene. Uncle S immediately contacted toll road officers, traffic police, and tow truck services. Alhamdulillah.
Both the people I hit and the person who hit me were genuinely good people. Everyone took responsibility wisely and calmly.
I’m not trying to defend myself here. I know I was at fault for not keeping a safe distance. As I’m writing this post, the car issues aren’t fully settled yet, but I’ve learned to be grateful for whatever happens. Yes, today there was an accident, but along with it came many good things as well.
***
Anyway, the answer to my wild question at the beginning of this post has been answered. I got to know new people, exchanged contacts, and promised to stay in touch and keep in contact after this accident 🙂
